Tourists v’s posh

The Diamond Jubilee State Coach
made by Australia

At the Rtiz

Would you like me to pour your tea?

What do we eat first?

Everyone else is gone
but we are still lapping it up

Liberty, the mecca of posh people and tourists

It’s our last day of exploring so lets get going and make the most of it. Past the crowds at Buckingham Palace around the corner and into the Queens Gallery we go. It’s a cool respite from the sweltering heat of London. The queen has very kindly put on exhibition with the theme of gardens from the royal collection. Every painting is exquisite and Osborne House features quite a bit. Its funny how everything is linked in someway. The standard exit through the gift shop and onto the Royal Mews we go.

The Royal Mews is where the horses and carriages are stored and we arrive just as a guided tour is starting. It’s a truly fascinating place the big gold state coach is said to be so uncomfortable and sway so much that the head of the Admiratly said it was the roughest ride he has every had in his life after 40 years at sea. The best coach is the diamond jubilee state coach made in Australia it’s a wonderful blend of old and new, from a web cam in the crown to wood paneling in the doors made from every historical institution in Britain. Well done to the Aussies, even though it was 8 years late in being delivered.

We are all dressed up for our main event today and I have even attempted to tame my hair. We are having tea at The Ritz, cue giddy excitement. Do you have a booking, mam? Yes we do. We are seated in amongst the ferns and overall opulence that is the Ritz. Please take photos discreetly it says on the menu – we can do that. Would you like Rose or Brut champagne? Rose please and we are off, tea in massive silver pits, delicate sandwiches, cakes and best of all scones and a tub of clotted cream. Time to chat about what a big holiday we have had and all the crazy things that we have done.

Finally all the champagne is finished, everyone has left except for us and its time to move on. Out into the heat we go and meander down Piccadilly to find ourselves at Liberty. The mecca of all shoppers, a quick spin around the 250 pound scarves and then we get into the lift to go up to the oriental rugs. Two  twenty something men get in the lift and one comments, ‘I have never been into Liberty’, the other says ‘its only for posh people and tourists’. We can’t let that comment go by and it is quickly decided by all that I am the tourist and Jane is posh.

V for Victory

A British summer can be glorious 

Why don't the canyons Stephen takes me in have bridges?

Sad to be leaving the island
or scared of the train?

Spinnaker Tower in Portsmouth

HMS Victory, Lord Nelsons flag ship
(this is the real ship from 250 years ago not a replica)

Spot where Nelson was shot

Very daring, 100m in the air

Its another glorious day on the Isle of Wight, lets just fit one or two more ‘things’ in. A quick trip up to Brading, going around buses, driving in the middle of the road like locals, getting followed by Mercedes Man who thinks we know where we are going, only one wrong turn and we are here. At one of the largest Roman mosaics in UK. It’s Time Team on steroids. This has taken our journey back to the 1^st century.

Now we get back in the car and head back to Shanklin Chine. It’s a canyon that costs 4 pounds to enter. Bit strange for me, but a quaint Victorian tourist attraction from 1812. The most interesting bit is, Pluto, which is the pipeline under the sea. This pipeline carried petrol over the channel to the allies in WW2 and was the brainchild of Lord Mountbatten.

We try in vain to see a red squirrel, but no success. However I do see a woodpecker. This is pretty exciting, I would not have not known what a woodpecker was if Ricki had not shown me one in Central Park last year. The bobbing head is unmistakable.

Now to drop the car off, opps that’s a one way street, box around, left and right and we pull in with no dings and no dramas for a few days of zooming around. Very happy about that, my first attempt at driving out of Australia is a success.

Back onto the ancient, wobbly and noisy railway we go, onto the ferry and in no time we are back in Portsmouth and on the mainland. Goodbye Isle of Wight it’s been grand.

There is time to do a little more in Portsmouth, yeah. Quick as a flash I am off to HMS Victory, Lord Nelson's flagship at the Battle of Trafalgar. I love the sense of history in Britain this is the real ship from 250 years ago and I am standing in the exact spot where Nelson was shot.

Now its time to conquer more heights, the spinnaker tower. I hope there is a lift! Yes, there is, pay some money and 60 seconds later I am up the top. Wow, the whole Solent (the name for the stretch of water between mainland and Isle of Wight) is laid out before me. What a spectacular view. But there is one more challenge. Am I up to it? Of course I am, well maybe, yes, I must. Oh that really does look a bit high. Well I tell myself it cant be dangerous or they would not let me do it would they? Deep breath now and step. Right one more step and another, look down. Ohh, that’s a bit scary I am out in on a glass floor 100 metres above the ground! Lets get off the glass, take a breather now I am back out again and can get some shots. Gotta run now am late for my rendezvous with Jane.

Back to the meeting point and Jane has walked all over Portsmouth town centre, Southsea and Victoria Park. It’s time to head home.

Hooning around

Godshill

Jane likes a good tea room

Protecting the gate at Carisbrooke Castle

The Needles

We will do anything to get a photo

A medal to prove we went on the chairlift

Ventor, showing the type of roads we
 hooned around on

Its Sunday morning so lets go to church, to be precise Godshill church that is very old and built on a pagan ground. High on the hill in amongst thatched cottages in the early morning sun it is a gorgeous site. We only came here as everyone keeps telling us about the gigantic meringues in a nearby shop, they are now a distant memory. Back down we go and the shops have started to open, Jane goes into hyperventilation mode with all the crystals, our bags are going to be a lot heavier on the way back home.

Next stop is a detour to Carisbrooke Castle, this is where Charles I was imprisoned and tried to escape from, Beatrice (my fav of QV’s children) lived and about a zillion other bits of history happened. The best bit is getting to be a guard in the watch tower.

Back into Victoria we go and we are heading south, over dale, around sharp corners, over crests, more pushbikes to overtake but with Janes expert navigation we arrive. We are at the very point of island where a rock formation called The Needles, extends out into the water. Now I know what is coming next, but Jane doesn’t. Will she do or wont she. She says that is all ok, shes in. No need for champagne, let’s go on the chairlift. I am a worried about me getting on and off the contraption let alone Jane. But a big muscley guy throws us both into our seats and we are off. Now Jane realises just how scary this is and is hanging on for dear life with eyes shut. But after a few minutes realises it is all ok and then can enjoy the magnificent views. Sort of. Two muscly men to get us off at the bottom and we are done. Not sure Jane can actually stand, but before she can get her wits about her to say no we are on a boat and heading for the needles. The boat is calm respite from the chairlift adventure and a great way to see all the colours in the rocks up close. After about 1,000 photos each and exploring for fossils on the beach its time to head up. Would you like to walk up the steps or take the chairlift? No choice really. So back we get on and make it to the top and receive our medals for conquering the chair lift. How good is this!

Now we are going to take the long way back around the coast, I can even drive at the speed limit now. There are hardly any cars this way and we explore every little hamlet along the way. Some of the roads are so windy you hold your breath as you go around each corner. I would like to shut my eyes as well, but that’s probably not a good idea.

We pull up in Ventor and Jane finds the best place on the whole coast for a creamed tea, Queenies.

We finish the day with our biggest challenge yet, finding a petrol station.

We are amused

Our base camp

Shanklin Beach in morning sunshine

Walk to Queen Victorias private beach

Osbourne House

Jane in a photo snapping frenzy

View of yacht race from QV beach 

Giggling in the gardens

So proud that I drove!

Round the island race with thousands of yachts

Eleanora, one of the biggest yachts in the fleet

Its 4am and the birds have started twittering. Could they please wait and hour or two more as I am a tired tourist.  Snore. Time to get moving, a walk into the town and we now are the proud owners of a silver Skoda, who we quickly christen Victoria. Yes, I get to drive in another country, thankfully on the same side of the road as Oz.

Off we go along roads and over dales to our main destination, I have been calling this Queen Victoria’s Summer Palace. However I quickly learn it was a private residence named Osborne House and Victoria, Albert and all the 9 children and 41 grand children had a wonderful time here.

We explore around the house and start talking to the guides and learn a lot a few interesting tid bits are:

• Albert did most of the design for building, rooms and furnishing
• We stand in the room where Alexander Graham Bell showed Queen Victoria the telephone
• We both hone in on porcelain clock that was a gift from Kaiser Wilhelm, the eldest grandchild decorated with a painting of a palace we saw in Potsdam last week
• The nursery on the top floor is haunted by Prince Leopold
• Victoria and Albert where into co-working and had desks next to each other
• They loved dogs, statues and paintings are everywhere

From here we go on to visit the private beach, Swiss Cottage where the children learnt cooking and gardening and finally the walled garden. All in all this is an amazing place and I have a totally different opinion of Queen Victoria now after seeing her private residence and getting an insight into the life she and Albert purposely created for their family.

Back into the car and on we go to Cowes, its this way, no its that way. Well the map says we can go across the water at the end of the road. No we can’t it’s the ferry line to Southhampton. So back around the roads we go and make it to from East Cowes to Cowes.

Today is a big day in the yachting world with the round the island race, there are yachts and yachties everywhere. Modern sleek zillion dollar yachts, immaculately restored wooden yachts and little weekender yachts. Thousands of yachts are all finishing the race as we arrive. What that really big boat at the end? It’s the Eleanora a modern day replica of a 1910 boat. A chat to the crew reveals that they have 8 permanent sailors that sail the boat all year long for an unidentified American millionaire. Next stop for them is France, then Spain.

The Isle of Wight is the same size as Malta, a pretty freaky fact for the trip. The fastest boat in the race did it in 3.5 hours, the slowest is 10 hours. I would not want to be on the slow boat.

Time for some food, a beef and ale pie in a 400 year old pub is just what we need.

A step back in time

Portsmouth, HMS Victory, Nelsons boat from Trafalger

Portsmouth

The train to Shanklin

Quaint Shanklin the town where we are staying

Our beach, down a steep flight of stairs
on the side of a cliff.
There are fossils to be found

Today we are off on an adventure south to the Isle of Wight. With a copy of The Lady and a cup of tea we arrive in Portsmouth very quickly.  The sea air is bracing and the train drops us right at the harbour.

We have made it to where the first fleet left from!

Time to explore one of the many fine exhibits, we start with the Mary Rose. A Tudor warship that Henry VIII built 500 years ago It was sunk in the Solent, the stretch of water between Portsmouth and the Isle of White during a battle with the French. After years of searching it was finally rediscovered in 1971 and eventual raised. The museum only recently opened is amazing a time capsule of Tudor times with all kinds of equipment, from shoes to an early compasss. Fascinating.

The ferry is due for our destination. It is very fast, sailing boats galore are out on the Solvent, the wind is blowing its quite good up here on the top deck. We have arrived at a rickety old wharf that looks miles out into the sea and its time to get off. Now we are expected to get on a train that looks about 100 years old to get to our final destination Shanklin. No where to buy tickets, instead there is a quaint conductor with a ticket machine and money bag on board. The train rattles, rocks and shakes it way down the wharf and onto Shanklin. This is all very surreal what kind of place has Jane taken me to?

We arrive at the end of the line now we have to find a taxi to get to base camp. Its blowing a gale and no taxis are to be seen, eventually we make it to our final destination, it’s a big old house, right on a cliff edge. I think we have walked into a Victorian novel.

Off into the town and beach we go to explore. Cod and chips for dinner rounds out another day of firsts.

Going solo

Imperial War Museum

Sunny day in the capitol

Going arty with Big Ben

Right in the thick of it at Sotheby's auction

Picking out which piece I will bid on

Bobbies enjoying the sunshine
and directing shoppers

Liberty fabrics to drool over

Old world charm at Liberty

Jane has other plans for today, so I am on my own. First stop is the Imperial War Museum, as I am walking up I see a piece of Berlin Wall out the front, I can recognise that wall at 20 paces after last week. The IWM has been shut ever since I have been travelling to London, a big refurbishment has finished in time for 100 years anniversary of the start of WW1. It’s impressive, well laid out and packed with school children. There is an actual ww1 bunker to walk through, the exhibtion I like best includes items I have never seen before, Secret War with spy memorabilia, all real!

Now time to catch a bus, google tells me I need to go stop E and get off at stop N. I am on and have finally worked out the code for catching buses, another success for London transport. The bus is about to approach Westminister bridge, its sunny with blue sky and parliament looks stunning so a quick decision and I hop off the bus for a photo shoot.

Now to negotiate via the tube back to my original destination, Sotherbys. This is the auction house I saw on one of Peter’s tours that looks imposing but apparently anyone can go in to watch an auction and there is a collection of Picasso ceramics being sold today. So I waltz in, past the first reception, past the inner reception, follow the sound of the auctioneers voice up the stairs, ignore all the security guards on each landing and before you know it I am sitting in the audience. The pace is fast and furious, piece after piece are going under the hammer, 150,000, 222,0000. Opps, that lady is not happy and walks out in disgust. Now a really strange vase is up, according to the catalogue expected price is 120,000 to 180,000. The bidding starts at 120,000, the Japanese man just to my right bids, 130,000 for the lady directly behind me, someone down the front jumped to 150,000. These people are bidding in pounds this is crazy. Phone and online bids are coming in, quickly the price rises to 350,000 everyone in the room is excited. The auctioneer is milking it for all its worth and wants the person at the front to get it. The whole room is holding their breath to see where this goes. Phone bids, slow down, we are at 380,000, the person at the front wipes the floor with a 400,000 bid and the hammer falls. The room lets out a collective excited breath, even the auctioneer is happy.

I could stay here all day but time to hit the shops for the annual renewal of the wardrobe. Back to Ladywell Lodge for our traditional dinner, breaded fish and vegetables. Life is good.

Its 11pm at night, I am packing my bag for Isle of White there are noises outside in the garden. It’s a fox and her cub, how cute I say. The locals think otherwise.

Walking a London mile

Royal Academy of Arts - Summer Exhibition

Royal Academy of Arts - Summer Exhibition

Hatchards book store

Back in the hustle and bustle
that is London

In Cool Britannia shop looking for
George and Charlotte 

Only statute of Shakespeare in London

Every man and his dog
chillaxing at Somerset House

Logging invader find

It’s another sunny day in paradise. We get off the train and with the traditional wave to Nelson we are back in the thick of things. A quick check out of the 4^th plinth and we are now on our way to the first stop for today the Royal Academy of Arts.

My main reason for the visit is to experience the rooms where so many debates about great and not so great art have happened, from pre Raphaelites bothering the establishment to minimalist sculptures falling apart. The summer exhibition that has the best of current British art is a side line to this activity, but turns out to be a really good exhibition. You can see all the works in exhibition online.

Jane departs and I go on into the throngs of people, buses and cars along Piccadilly. It’s actually nice to be back in a city where most people are polite and there is no pushing and shoving. Even English accents are pleasant to hear. Gee, that makes me sound very parochial.

Next stop on my Tour de London is Hatchards, the oldest book shop in London, from here it goes on and on, Fortnum and Mason, Maison Assouline, Coventry Street -that is starting to look like Times Square, Foyles, TK Max, late lunch with my friend William, Phoenix Garden, Fabriano, Covent Garden, Radley all my favorite places plus a few more for good measure.

Very pleased with my navigation skills I seem to have all the landmarks of London seared into my brain and have made it easily from place to place. The apple watch has just told me I have had an achievement day and this is my most activity to date. No wonder my feet are throbbing. But must press on.

After looking in vain all around Berlin, finally I have found an invader to log on the flashinvaders game via my phone. This one we saw in 2012. But darn, the phone signal will not work, I am trying in vain to pick up a wifi network without a password, nothing is working, frustrating. I will try anyhow, the app gives me a message invader saved, we will see what happens when I get back onto wifi.

Back to Charing Cross station laden with packages. Time to pick up some dinner in M & S and there is still 7 minutes till the train, lets get this weeks Lady and my shopping list for today is complete. Even managed to buy a pair of gum boots with dogs on them.

At Ladywell Lodge, on wifi, load the Invader app and yes success I now have two cities on my invader list! Night all.